Miraculous Mind

7 Mind Traps That Steal Our Happiness – Trap 1. What Other People Think About Me?

Gossiping Ducks.
7 Mind Traps That Steal Our Happiness – Trap 1. What Other People Think About Me?foxypar4 / Foter / CC BY

Is happiness difficult to find or we keep losing it bit by bit because of our mindset. In my search to save happiness from leaking away; I found 7 major mind traps that can actually steal our happiness. To discuss each in details I think it will be a good idea to talk about one or two at a time.

Trap 1. What Other People Think About Me?

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” — Laozi

A child comes crying home from school. He runs in his mother’s arms and cries for a while. The mother tries to calm him down and asks him what the matter was. Wiping his tears he tells her that everyone in school taunts him and teases him. They all call him stupid and ugly. They make fun of him for being slow in school work.

Scenario 1: The mother consoles him that he is smart and beautiful. He should not care about his classmate’s remarks and he should completely ignore them. She promises herself to help him study harder so that he can do well in school. She understands his pain and tries to help him overcome the challenge in his early age.

Scenario 2: The mother first gets angry about situation. Then she remembers that the neighborhood children go to the same school so they might tell their parents about this. What will the neighbors think about my son? They will blame me for his failure in school. I will be labeled as a bad mother. How will I face my neighbors now? In her fit of anger she yells at the child to go study and tells him that he will not be allowed to play or watch TV till his grades get better.

One situation handled in two different ways. Will the result be different? Of course it will be. Which scenario will help the kid overcome his problem? My guess is the first scenario. The mother makes the kid comfortable gives him the most important lesson of life to not let others opinion affect him and then tries to help him solve the problem.

This kind of response will give the child confidence that he can come to his mother with any problem and she will listen, understand and suggest him what he can do. He will always share everything about his life with his mother and their relationship will become stronger.

In the second case the child will get terrified by the thought of telling his mother any of his troubles. He was already low and she made him feel worse she even punished him. He will stop sharing everything with his mother. He will only tell her what she wants to hear so he can avoid any unpleasant reaction from his mother. He will keep secrets from his mother and will find some other person who will listen about his troubles and help him overcome them. This other person can be his father, a sibling, a relative, a friend, a teacher or any other person this child finds easy to connect with as his connection with his mother will become weaker.

“The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think.” — C. JoyBell C.

These scenarios were my attempt to highlight how dangerous it can be to think about others people’s onions. Why do we give others especially people who talk behind our backs so much control of our life? How does it matter what others think about us? People make such stupid mistakes trying to impress others that they completely lose focus from things that our actually important.

People will always talk and gossip about you and everyone else. No matter what you do, they will always find a way to talk about you behind your back. The day we set our mind to ignore what other people think about will be the day we will experience true freedom. Give it a try. Do something without a single thought of others opinion. Once you taste this freedom I am sure you will never ever care about what others think about you.

Dr. Wayne Dyer gives a beautiful explanation about the fear of others opinion. He says there are two things we need to think about character and reputation. One person can have many reputations as reputation is nothing but opinion of others so if 100 people know that person he will have 100 reputations as everybody will look at him in a unique way. So it really does not matter who thinks what about you as those opinions will constantly keep changing and updating.

“Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?” — Brigham Young

Character is far more important. It is what we think about ourselves. Character builds our reality. It controls our subconscious mind that controls our every action. The only opinion that matters is our own. Plus it is far easier to work on one character then hundreds of reputations. Strong character will build an amazing life.

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Positive Permanent Changes – Part 3 – Resetting our Mind



Positive Permanent Changes – Part 1 – Understanding our Mind

Positive Permanent Changes – Part 3 – Resetting our Mind


In the first fast of this series “Positive Permanent Changes – Part 1 – Understanding our Mind” we tried to understand our mind and how our subconscious mind controls our life. The deep rooted beliefs and habits in the subconscious mind shape our life, our identity and our future. The second part “Positive Permanent Changes – Part 2 – How Our Mind Learns” focused on different stages of learning with example.

“The mind is powerful, and you have more control than you think.” — Scott D. Lewis

Now with so much discussion on the mind let’s try to answer some questions. Have you ever tried to do something desperately but somehow could not do it? Do you find your brain caught in an ongoing tug o’ war? Do you find your conscious mind also known as logical mind struggling to get the unconscious mind on board about something? Why does this happen? If you are like me you must have wondered why we cannot come with a reset button where we can eliminate the blockages in our mind.

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” — William S. Burroughs

Actually we can reset our mind and make positive permanent changes by a very effective tool like hypnosis. Contrary to popular belief hypnosis is a safe and effective method to remove harmful and toxic beliefs rooted in our subconscious mind and replace them with positive ones that help us achieve our desires.

“You use hypnosis not as a cure but as a means of establishing a favorable climate in which to learn.” — Milton Erickson

Here is a dictionary definition of Hypnosis:

Hypnosis is the induction of a state of consciousness in which a person is highly conscious of suggestion or direction.

To go into a little more detail you could say that hypnosis is often over complicated. We use the term “hypnosis” to describe a trance like state.

However, essentially we all go in and out of mild “trances” every day; those moments when our minds wonder and we fantasize, even simply sitting down to watch television, we give our attention and enter a trance / hypnosis like state.

These are all examples of trance like states, and they are all organic and natural. Hypnosis simply puts you into one of these mild “trance” states purposefully, and gradually, as you keep getting exposed to the hypnotic suggestions of the hypnotist, your patterns of thinking and self beliefs will start to change.

Far from being asleep or unaware, hypnosis is actually a heightened state where you are both deeply relaxed yet have a heightened level of suggestibility as well as a centered awareness.

Because of this heightened mind-set you can use hypnosis to rewire yourself beliefs and patterns of thinking.

To sum up very briefly it is usually said that hypnosis gains access the subconscious mind to eliminate the negative beliefs which hinder personal progress.

What is possible?

Hypnosis is now used for the elimination of almost any adverse belief; it is used to help a wide range of health problems, and is massively effective for enhancing self beliefs such as self esteem and confidence.
I have tried out the Natural Hypnosis mp3s and they are a convenient and effective way to self hypnotize. The best part is you can try this in the comfort in your own house.

Get started with hypnosis today – the easiest way is to feel it for yourself as yes, it still is a subjective experience and results do vary. You can download 3 free self-hypnosis mp3s from Natural Hypnosis.

Download your 3 free hypnosis albums here

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Positive Permanent Changes – Part 2 – How Our Mind Learns



Positive Permanent Changes – Part 1 – Understanding our Mind

Positive Permanent Changes – Part 2 – How Our Mind Learns

“Learning is the only thing the mind never exhausts, never fears, and never regrets.” — Leonardo da Vinci

In the last post “Positive Permanent Changes – Part 1 – Understanding our Mind” we tried to understand our mind and how our subconscious mind controls our life. The deep rooted beliefs and habits in the subconscious mind shape our life, our identity and our future.

The good news is we can cultivate positive beliefs and habits and the not so good news is we have to get rid of the negative thoughts or habits that may be blocking our path towards a successful life. It is important to understand how our mind learns before we try to teach it new skills or try to remove old beliefs.

“Learning never exhausts the mind.” — Leonardo da Vinci

When we learn any new skill like learning a new language, operating a new machine, learning to play an instrument or learning to drive a car we go through different stages of learning.

1. Unconscious Incompetence/ Unskilled:
At this stage we do not know how to do the skill and we do not even register the need to learn this particular skill.

E.g. ‘Mr. Overworked’ does not know how to operate a new computer program and is not aware of its use or value for his job.

2. Conscious Incompetence/ Unskilled:
At this stage we get aware of the new skill and its value for us but we still have not know how to do it or we are yet to learn it.

E.g. A senior manager at the company tells Mr. Overworked how a new computer program is making waves in the industry and if he masters it he can look forward to a promising promotion.

3. Conscious Competence/ Skill:
Here we are aware of the importance and value of a skill and we start learning it. We do know how to do it but we have to do it with lots of efforts and concentration. We are highly conscious and we may have broken down the procedure in steps to help us do it without fail. We are taking more than required time as we are consciously watching our every move and step.

E.g. ‘Mr. Overworked’ enrolled in an online training program to learn the new computer program. He learned how exactly to do it but he is still very conscious about the steps so he printed out a detail plan step by step how to use the new computer program. He pinned it to the soft board behind his computer and now he works on the program by following every step on the printout. He is going slowly with it to avoid any mistakes.

4. Unconscious Competence/ Skilled:
By repetition and practice now we are comfortable with the new skill. There may be more to learn about it but we are confident and are doing the task with more speed and accuracy. Our movements are smoother and we are not depended on the learning tools like books or manuals anymore. We might even have developed a personal style or shortcuts to do the task more efficiently.

E.g. ‘Mr. Overworked’ has been working with the new computer program for over a month now. He has learnt almost everything that has to be learned about it. He is confident and comfortable with the program. He has even discovered various shortcuts to operate the program. The senior manager has appreciated Mr. Overworked’s efforts and is willing to offer him promotion and also has requested Mr. Overworked to teach the new computer program to his subordinates.

“A man, though wise, should never be ashamed of learning more, and must unbend his mind.” — Sophocles

Once we get to the fourth stage i.e. unconscious competence we can be proud about mastering a new skill or habit and it is also permanently set in our mind. We do go through all the four stages while learning any new skill and that is exactly how our mind is programmed we cannot jump or skip any stage.

So how can we bring Positive Permanent Changes in our mind that is set and rigid about some beliefs? Can we learn to unlearn? Can we change our thoughts and feeling about things that affect us most and have been obstacles in our path to achieve our life long dreams?

You guess the answer – Yes we can. We can slowly and permanently get rid of toxic beliefs, habits, and thoughts and replace them with the ones that will make our desire come true. Well this again will take a whole new post so let’s talk about this in the next and last post in the series; “Positive Permanent Changes – Part 3 – Resetting our Mind.”

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Positive Permanent Changes – Part 1 – Understanding our Mind

Lights of ideas
Positive Permanent Changes – Part 1 – Understanding our MindSaad Faruque / Foter / CC BY-SA

Our mind is more or less like the most complicated and most advance computer ever built. In fact calling our mind a computer is an understatement but due to lack of a better word I dared to do the comparison.

Many scientists and speakers have tried to explain our mind by giving the example of an iceberg. There is a very good reason for this and that is the design of an iceberg comes very close while explaining the two parts of our mind – the conscious mind and the subconscious also known as unconscious mind.

Well our conscious mind is ever learning and ever changing as it adapts and understands the changes around us. It deals with logical explanation and thinking. When it comes to mind our conscious mind is just the tip of the iceberg. It is the only part that we can change as frequent as required. We can update or if required make changes in it easily with some minimal efforts.

On the other hand our subconscious mind is the bulkier part of the iceberg. Everything we do to live or survive is programmed in our subconscious mind. We do not have to think logically about how to breathe or eat or walk or sleep as all is taken care by our subconscious mind. Our bodily functions run on auto pilot because of our subconscious mind. Just imagine how hard our life would be if we would consciously try to breathe or talk or walk or do everything we so easily and smoothly do on autopilot; we might not survive a day.

Once our subconscious mind learns a new skill or develops a new habit it is as good as set in stone. Evolution has rewarded us with a rigid and stubborn subconscious mind.

“Our subconscious side is more interesting than the logic one because we are not subtotals to any problem at all.” — Frustiente

Our subconscious mind gets programmed in our early years with help of our parents, teachers and surroundings we learn our basics skills to live a normal life. This becomes our key foundation for our existence. In this same period we also get lots of beliefs engraved in our subconscious mind. Beliefs those are important for our family, community, nation or the entire world. I have mentioned engraved here as it is difficult to change belief that is set in our subconscious mind. These beliefs give us our identity and our personality. These beliefs shape our future as our thoughts are highly dominated by our rooted beliefs.

We can always see a lot of similarity among people’s preferences when they have common beliefs. This concept is explained in detail in great books like Think and Grow Rich, Science of Getting Rich, Richest Man in Babylon or Rich Dad Poor Dad.”

Having an immovable subconscious mind is a good idea if we are thinking about beliefs, skills and habits that are beneficial for us but what if our mind has deep settled beliefs and habits that are self sabotaging? Is it possible to change some of our beliefs or habits for good? Can we reprogrammed our stubborn subconscious mind as we want? The good news is “Yes we can.”

It is a slow process but with patience and efforts we surely can make a positive permanent change in our subconscious mind. Well this will take a whole new post so let’s talk about this in the next post “Positive Permanent Changes – Part 2 – How Our Mind Learns”

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A Creative World – The Artist’s Way of Life


A Creative World – The Artist’s Way of Life

A Creative World – The Artist’s Way of Life


Do you believe in God? For years I believed God to be a passionate artist or else how would you explain the vibrant beautiful world around us. How would you explain different colors, sounds, tastes and texture that nature splashes so abundantly. God is incredibly creative; isn’t he? How do you see God; as a passionate artist or a crazy scientist?

“Creativity is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to God.” — Bob Moawad

Albert Einstein is my favorite genius not just because he was an amazing scientist but a firm believer in imagination and mind’s creative power in the intuitive mind. Einstein’s above quote clearly mentions “The intuitive mind as a sacred gift.” Without it there would not be any discoveries. Everything we enjoy today was an imagination or a dream of a brilliant visionary.

God and Humans who are created in his image are all artists even the crazy scientists. An artist or a scientist is not different from each other. They both get possessed with their passion or work.

“Our vocation and professional work is not a second class activity, something we do just to put food on the table. It is the high calling for which we were originally created. The way we serve a Creator God is by being creative with the talents and gifts He has given us.” — Nancy Pearcey (Total Truth)

If you want are interested in enhancing your craft or exploring your creative side you can read a wonderful book called “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron; which is a full course in connecting with the higher creative energy. This book can awaken an artist within anyone even if you think you don’t have a creative side you will be surprised to find out your true nature.

I am glad to give a peek in Julia extraordinary work. Every principle is a quote to remember especially if you are an artist trying to find your place in this rational world.

“Basic Principles:

1. Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy: pure creative energy.

2. There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life — including ourselves.

3. When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator’s creativity within us and our lives.

4. We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.

5. Creativity is God’s gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back to God.

6. The refusal to be creative is self-will and is counter to our true nature.

7. When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good orderly direction.

8. As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes are to be expected.

9. It is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity.

10. Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move toward our dreams, we move toward our divinity.” — Julia Cameron

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Dealing with Difficult People – Complainer/ Whiner (Part 1)

Dovee
Dealing with Difficult People – Complainer/ Whiner Caucas’ / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.” – Dale Carnegie

Some people complain about everything under the sun. We find them in our home, in our neighborhood, in our workplace or even when we go on a vacation. Sometimes these complains are genuine but what to do when we have to deal with a chronic complainer.

“The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects.” – Lord Jeffrey

A chronic complainer is a person who finds fault in everything and everyone around him/ her and makes everyone around
aware of the fault. A chronic complainer highlights the negative points in everything no matter how good the situation is. Nobody enjoys the company of a complainer/ whiner and dealing with a chronic complainer is very stressful and challenging.

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.”-Anthony J. D’Angelo

Have you noticed how tired and low you feel after listening to complainers long list of complains. This happens because the complainers are energy drainers our brain shutdowns and losses energy when we constant hear whining and complaints. Avoiding such people is not always possible so how to save our brain cells from melting in the presence of such negativity.

“Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.”-German Proverb

I have divided complainers in two categories: –

1. Loved ones:

It is emotionally challenging and very frustrating to deal with a loved one who starts behaving like a chronic complainer. We feel the pressure to support and sympathies the complainer and we try to make everything as pleasant as possible to stop the complaints.

“He that falls by himself never cries.” – Turkish proverb

You may try solving all the problems the complainer is talking about and you may get mentally and physically exhausted. Still it should not come as a surprise to you if the complainer keeps complaining even if everything is perfectly good because a chronic complainer can find faults in anything and everything.

Tough love is the only solution when you want a loved one to stop whining. Talk back to the complainer in firm and clear voice.

If the complainer is complaining about something not so bad say clearly and firmly; “That’s not so bad.” or “It doesn’t bother me that much.”

If the complainer is repeating complaints from past and not letting it go; say something like “Didn’t we just discuss about this an hour ago?”

When you find the complainer in a calmer mood discuss your concerns about his/ her chronic complaining habit. Help him/ her become aware of the problem. Tell how you feel about it. If the complainer cares about you in the same way you care about him/ her you will see immediate improvement in the behavior.

You may get into lots of arguments and fights as the complainer will go into a complete denial stage initially but when he/ she wants to change and ask for your help you can suggest a remedy mentioned in the book by Will Bowen; “A Complaint Free World” – ware a rubber band or thread or bracelet on one of your wrists and change it to the other wrist every time you complain. Your goal is to go 21 days without changing it from one wrist to another. If you can go 21 days without a single complaint you can get cured of becoming a chronic complainer. You will also become a positive, happy person that others love to have around.

“Complain to one who can help you.” – Yugoslavian proverb

2nd category continued in “Dealing with Difficult People – Complainer/ Whiner (Part 2)”

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