In my last post 5 Life Lessons from Art Of Living Happiness Program I wrote about the 5 life lessons that are taught in the 6 days course. Besides these 5 points we discussed many topics on mind and spirituality.
In this post I want to share about the life lesson that affected me the most. This lesson is different than the one mentioned in the last post. The class discussed a topic that helped me analyze a self-sabotaging habit I needed to change immediately.
“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” ― Jim Rohn
Whom do we hold responsible for the difficulties in our life?
If something goes wrong, whom do we blame?
If we are not reaching our target, whom do we hold accountable?
The answer to the above questions is – someone who is closest to us. Our parents or spouse. Mostly it is someone we love
It is always easier to blame someone else for our inability. Most of us instantly blame others when things do not go as per our plan. This habit of blaming others is common with people who have a Victim Mentality.
“Attack the evil that is within yourself, rather than attacking the evil that is in others.” ― Confucius
Mentality Type 1: Victim Mentality
Someone with Victim Mentality finds comfort in throwing the blame on others. It saves there mind from feeling any pressure after facing a failure or loss. This is a very addictive and harmful habit where the person enjoys pretending to be a Victim while putting a lot of stress on someone else. This creates bitterness in relationships and the blamer loses most of their energy on an unrewarding habit.
End Result–> a couple or more unhappy failures struggling together.
To know about how to deal with these kind of difficult people do read
Mentality Type 2: Culprit Mentality
The second Mentality is of those whose reaction to every failed situation is to drawn in self-pity and self-blaming. The people with this mentality feel guilty about their circumstances and consider themselves unlucky. They believe they do not deserve success and any good thing they have will be taken away from them.
End Result–> a sad person who has given up trying for any kind success and is willing to accept failure as his fate.
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” ― Theodore Roosevelt
Mentality Type 3: Witness or Success Mentality
Witness or Success Mentality is only mentality that can lead us to a successful life. Being a Witness in your own life is a very practical concept that helps us face any situation or challenges.
As per this success mentality, one must observe the situation as an outsider or a witness. This helps us to understand the facts about the challenge and we get over the emotional angle that affects our decisions.
When we pretend to be an witness to the situation we can see the bigger picture and think about the challenge from multiple viewpoints. A Witness Mentality person takes responsibilities for his actions and takes charge of their dreams and goals. As they do not blame self or others, they use their whole energy towards achieving their goals.
End Result–> a determined person who is in charge of his life, who is striving to fulfil his goals, while utilising his full energy to become successful.
How to Acquire The Mentality of Successful People
Step 1: Immediately STOP the blaming habit. Do not blame self or others for any situations or failures.
Step 2: Accept the circumstances and challenges as it is and respond to them as an outsider.
Step 3: Take complete RESPONSIBILITY for any failure or goals that you desire to achieve. By taking responsibility, you keep your whole power with yourself.
Step 4: Observing as a witness advice and encourage self to achieve a goal. Keep the emotions aside and think practically how you can get what you want in the shortest time or easiest way.
Step 5: Keep reminding self by repeating affirmations as
“I am responsible for my life”
“I am responsible for my achievements”
“I am responsible for my Success”
“I am responsible for my Happiness”
“I am responsible for my Health”
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt