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Dealing with Difficult People – Complainer/ Whiner (Part 2)

My post on Dealing with Difficult People – Complainer/ Whiner (Part 1) talks about the challenges one has to face when a loved one is a chronic complainer. This emotionally challenging problem can be cured with tough love and some patience. I have also mentioned a simple but effective remedy to get rid of this annoying habit and turning yourself into a happy and positive person.

Dealing with Difficult People – Complainer/ Whiner (Part 2)

Dealing with Difficult People – Complainer/ Whiner (Part 2)

In Part 2 let’s see the other category of complainers:

2. Everyone else:

In this category you can put everyone other complainer you know other than the people close to your heart. In this category you can consider a complainer you work with or a neighbor or some distant relative we cannot get rid off or just a person you once met and somehow he/ she stuck with you. In short anyone you can live without.

The squeaking wheel doesn’t always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced.

Dealing with this category is simple as we are not emotionally involved with them. If you have to deal with a chronic complainer in this category you need to learn to give some firm replies to him/ her.

Whenever that person starts complaining don’t just be a passive listener. Try to understand what they are talking about; perhaps you can help them find a solution by asking simple questions like; “Oh! So what are you going to do about it?” or “How are you going to solve this problem?”

. How to identify a chronic complainer?

A chronic complainer is more interested in whining about an issue than to solve it. Till now you may have been a good listener to his/ her series of complains and this is precisely why the chronic complainer chooses you to vent out the huge negative flow of constant complaining.

“Say and do something positive that will help the situation; it doesn’t take any brains to complain.” -Robert A. Cook

Especially in the work place never agree with the complains the complainer is making not even by nodding your head unless you feel the same way; as the complainer can take the liberty to inform everyone else about your agreement and support to his/ her complains.

While the complainer is going on and on like a broken record and you cannot avoid him/ her just interrupt the conversation with sentences like; “I had no idea.” Or “Things don’t look so bad.” Or “Wow; is there anything positive about it?” Or “Sounds like you completely understood the problem, so what solutions have you thought about it?”

“Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.” – Og Mandino (author of The Greatest Salesman in the World)

This will come as a complete surprise to the complainer and as the complainer is more interested in the complains he/ she will not like your replies and questions. Gradually the complainer will stop considering you as his/ her chosen listener and you will find the peace and quiet you truly deserve.

“When you consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, you’ll become known as a problem-solver rather than a complainer. People avoid complainers. They seek out problem-solvers.” – Joseph Sommerville (author of Rainmaking Presentations)

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Quote: Dalai Lama

This beautiful quote is included in the post:7 Mind Traps That Steal Our Happiness – Trap 2. Worry

Quote 5: Dalai Lama

Quote: Dalai Lama

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” — Dalai Lama XIV.

Paulo Coelho’s ‘The Alchemist’ Reminds me to Listen to My Heart

The Alchemist

Paulo Coelho’s ‘The Alchemist’

I have read mixed reviews about Paulo Coelho’s most famous novel “The Alchemist” some call it life changing while others find it too simple. For me it is a very much needed reminder to listen to my .

Today we are too busy planning big tasks and conquering battles in every field of our life. Work life balance is become our biggest fantasy or something that has lost its way in the past. In our crazy hectic schedule were very duty is performed like an impossible mission a smooth read like “The Alchemist” takes us on a journey to find the treasure of our life.

It forces us to calm down and look around for messages from the higher self mentioned in the book as omens. We are too busy to run like a hamster on its wheel whole day 5 or 6 days a week and the rest days at the end of the week are spent to regain the energy to fight the never ending war next week then next and so on.

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” — Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

Paulo Coelho reminds us to understand where our heart is. What is it longing for? In what does it feel happiness? Where ever your heart takes you, you will find your treasure. This can be actual in form of wealth, relationship, happiness or anything that you earn after finding your calling and respecting your heart’s cravings. Find a peaceful place, stay calm, breath very slowly and deeply, close your eyes and try to quite your mind. Now try to listen to your heart. What do you think it is interested in? What gives it immense happiness and satisfaction? I am sure you know it till now but if you are confused a meditation exercise can help.

“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.” — Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

Most of us cannot follow our heart because of fear. Fear of failing or fear of disappointing others, fear of the unknown or fear of moving out of our comfort zone. As a part of being a grownup we lose our child like curiosity, our sense of adventure, become restless and get scared of dreaming big.

As a grownup we try to fit in the surrounding and try to follow some rules even if they do not benefit us. When we suppress our heart desires for a long time it stops communicating with us. Our heart is our only source to connect with the higher self or the wisdom that runs the whole universe. Don’t suppress its voice to make someone else happy.
Your calling or interest is a big part of your destiny. Understand the language of your heart and something magical will happen. Life will become smoother and sweeter. The resistance you face in your daily grind will become weaker making it easier for you to enjoy the journey called life.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.” — Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

If you are looking for a way to connect to your heart’s desire this book can help you by taking you on a journey you will never forget. You want to go on that adventure again and again and who knows may be it will encourage you to find your own adventure.

Quote: Tom Peters

This beautiful quote is included in the post: How to Trick your Mind to Lose Weight

Quote: Tom Peters

Quote: Tom Peters

Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is the doing something else.” — Tom Peters

20 Best Time Management Tips from Brain Tracy – Part 3

20 Best Time Management Tips from Brain Tracy – Part 3

20 Best Time Management Tips from Brain Tracy – Part 3

In the last two parts (20 Best Time Management Tips from Brain Tracy Part 1 & Part 2) we saw 10 tips that can turn around our life by improving our time management skills. In this post we are going to see some few methods that can help us become more productive and get a firm grip on our success by getting time on our side.

11. Interruptions: We cannot avoid disturbances while we work. The phone will ring several times, someone might like to come and talk to us about something happening in their life or some technical causes that can bring your work to a complete halt. We simply cannot avoid interruptions but we can minimize their impact on our work. We cannot do much about the technical pauses other but Mr. Tracy gives an easy tip to minimize our phone calls or chatting with visitor time. Mr. Tracy tells us to make a habit to stand up for every call or visit. By standing up and talking on the phone you do not get loose track of time and reflect the urgency to keep the call purely work related. You remind yourself to keep it short and also about getting back to work. Do the same with a walk in visitor and that person will not take much of your time.

12. Key Result Areas: While planning for a day’s work one should have a complete awareness about their Key Result Areas. Answering following simple questions can help us understand the important areas or tasks that are vital for us.

. Why do I get paid? (Or) Why am I on the payroll?
. What are my bread and butter?
. What are the goals or core functions of my job?
. Will it critically affect my goal if I miss any of the tasks?

We should give priority to these areas and spend reasonable time on them. If any task that you normally do does not qualify as your Key Result Areas then we should spend less time on them gradually eliminating the task for good.

13. Batching Task: Another very effective tip from Mr. Tracy to manage time. We can effective segregate our tasks into batches. This is taking the To-Do list to the next level. Make batches of tasks that go together. Assign specific time frame for these batches. Like if you like to check your mails after lunch or first thing in the morning then set aside checking mail, answering them and filling up your calendar and related tasks that you do every day for that specific time. Concentrating on one batch of task at a time helps us improve accuracy and reduce panic.

14. Neatness: It is not a secret that organizing your desk or office can improve your productivity. Mr. Tracy tells us that neatness can actually increase productivity by 20 to 30 %. Spend your first few minutes to make your workplace tidy before you start for the day. You can use the simple TRAF method to separate things in your office.

TRAF stands for Toss, Refer, Action and File.

15. Chunks of Time: Just as we make batches of time you can simultaneously separate chunks of time as 60 mins, 90 mins, an hour or 2 hrs. As per the requirement of the specific task assign chunks of time for that task while planning your day. When we allot a concentrated blocks of time for one important task we tend to complete that task within time. This helps us make a very effective use of time.

16. Transition Time: Never forget to keep aside an hour or so for learning. Mr. Tracy tells us if we need to earn more, we need to learn more. Sharpen your skills daily. Make yourself irreplaceable. Learning is forever it should not stop after getting a degree.

17. Telephone: Telephones are mostly interruptions as we discussed in the 2nd part of this series. Limit your time to less important calls. If you have to make calls assign a work batch and chunk of time daily to make calls. Stand while you make calls this will help your body with a much needed stretch.

18. Punctuality: Successful people value time and are punctual. If you agree to reach on a specific time then respect that agreement and it will build up a positive reputation for you. There can be many reasons for being late sometimes though it is always good to be punctual more than being late.

19. Work Simplification: We tend to do the same or similar work over and over again. Our core task is mostly repetitive. When we do the same thing many times we naturally find out ideas that can shorten the time span or simplify a process. Organizing things needed for the job can improve speed.

20. Say No: Many people fail to turn down requests from colleagues. Doing a favor to someone once in a while is good relationship building but if it starts happening frequently then you should not hesitate to say no.

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